


When You Realize You're Gay for a Dork

by Marygold_Blue



Series: The Complex Feelings Inspired by One Akko Kagari [1]
Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Amanda's really a wreck when you think about it, Because everybodies brain is basically mush, Crushes, F/F, Improbably patient roommates, Teen romances are the best, anxiety vomiting! Fun for everyone!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:03:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22312198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marygold_Blue/pseuds/Marygold_Blue
Summary: Amanda O'Neill has a problem. An Akko Kagari shaped problem. But god help her, she's going to ask her out or get merced by Constanze in the process!
Relationships: Atsuko "Akko" Kagari/Amanda O'Neill
Series: The Complex Feelings Inspired by One Akko Kagari [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636963
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	When You Realize You're Gay for a Dork

  
  
Amanda O’Neill was faced with a bit of conundrum. A real humdinger of a problem. A great big awkward teenage ball of WTF in the parlance of her generation. It wasn’t that she’d developed a crush on a schoolmate, no that wasn’t it, most of her previous crushes had been so. It wasn’t that said crush was another girl as Amanda O’Neill had, since being struck by puberty like an 18 wheeler going down a mountain with its breaks cut, never done anything to be mistaken for even remotely heterosexual.  
  
No, the issue wasn’t that it was a crush on a girl who was a classmate, but WHO that girl was. Don’t get her wrong, said girl was kinda cute in own way what with how her nose scrunched up when she was concentrating in class and that little bobtail she had her hair pulled back into. This girl also had a lot of energy and enthusiasm for just about anything she set her mind too, even if she could barely do it in the first place. She had gumption, dang it! Gumption was kinda cute. Then there was the slightly bigger issue that she wasn’t sure it was a crush at all.  
  
The problem with this girl, with Akko Kagari, was how she made Amanda feel inside. A normal crush, a regular crush would just make her feel a little fluttery on the inside. Sometimes a little horny maybe, ya know if the mood was right? If this was a regular crush Amanda knew just what she’d do. She’d spot Akko in the hallway between class or when she’s sitting down to eat her lunch. Then she’d check her breath, bad breath is a terrible first impression, then she’d slide riiiiight up to her, and go “Hey cutey, this seat taken?” Unless they were in a hallway then she’d say something else because get off her back she only said “this seat taken” to a girl in a hallway _once_ and the fact that she never makes eye contact with Georgia Wintergreen anymore is a coincidence so shut up about it!  
  
But anyway, “Hey cutey, blah blah blah” and then Akko would just melt right into her arms because who wouldn’t? She was Amanda God Damn O’Neill, the coolest, most badass witch in the school! Cue a make-out session, a few dates and then they’d inevitably part all hunky dory and amicable like or maybe they wouldn’t and it’d be a really messy breakup. That happens! But, again, that’s not what’s been happening with Earth’s Biggest Shiny Chariot fan. Oh no, god help her if it was that easy or she got shot down. No, what happens without fail every…single…freakin’ time is that Amanda would slide riiiiight up to Akko and say… “Hey Akko, what’s up” or “Hey Akko, wanna hang out”. At least her voice only cracked once.  
  
It was like Akko was surrounded by a field, a magical field that kept Amanda from breaking out the ol’ O’Neill charm, shoving it right back down into the tube, forcing her brain to default right back to ‘I’m The Coolest Person In This Room Mode’ and not ‘I’m The Hottest Person In This Room Mode’. Which, you know, just meant she got to hang out with Akko, and usually Akko’s friends and sometimes Akko, Akko’s friends and Amanda’s friends. Which was cool! She liked hanging out Akko! And Akko’s friends were pretty alright too! Even if Sucy might have slipped something into Amanda’s drink once that made her puke rainbows. No proof she did it, but she had her eyes on that one.  
  
But it was super frustrating! Everything she wanted to say and do getting shoved back down into a little hole just by being around Akko. For a minute she thought maybe she didn’t actually like Akko in that way, and it was just the weird, exciting things that she always ran into that were getting Amanda’s attention so her subconscious was shutting her down or something like that. But when Akko would look at her with those gorgeous reddish-brown eyes or cheer her on in a race, it did things to Amanda’s insides. Yeah there was the tingle but there was more? Like…like pride but not just for getting cheered on for being awesome but pride that it was SPECIFICALLY Akko calling her name, making her want to push further, go crazier and just be more badass!  
  
Then there were the times she’d take Akko out flying on her broom. The way she’d rest her hands around Amanda’s hips or, oh crap, when she wraps her arms around her waist and just holds so tight onto her, it just feels right. Like, this is the thing she’s been waiting her whole life for, that warmth and weight pressed against her back. It made Amanda feel like she could fly, magic or no magic, and she never ever wanted that to stop.  
  
Which finally leads to Amanda, flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling of her dorm room and practicing her pick up lines for Akko for roughly, the fifty-third time that night. Jasminka sat at her desk working on a handful of not-just-yet overdue assignments while popping gummy candies while Constanze fiddled with minor modifications to her Stanbot. Every so often, Constanze would look up out of the corner of her eye at Amanda, talking and gesturing, then starting over because she screwed up some imaginary inflection. Then Constanze would look to Jasminka, who’d meet her gaze, a subtle, almost imperceptible rigidity growing in her spine as Amanda went on and on and on.  
  
This had become a nightly ritual for the past week and a half. A very long week and a half. The kind of a week and a half that, in a less well mannered coven, or less civilized age would lead to two-thirds of the coven feeding the other one-third into a pyre just to get them to shut up. To the benefit of Amanda, she had been placed in the correct coven and born in the right era to survive the night. Possibly.  
  
It was around the time she said “Hey Akko, you’re hot, I’m hot we should totally just go somewhere and make-out! Gah, no that’s horrible she’ll just laugh at me if I say that” that Constanze ceased her work on the Stanbot. She gingerly placed the marvel of modern technology and magical thinking to the side and began to assemble a compact rifle from components she kept on herself with all the focus and clarity of a woman who’d gazed into the void and found it lacking.  
  
“You should just give her a box of sweets and a card,” Jasminka said, cleanly and with just enough measured tone to give Constanze pause in her methodical weapon assembly.  
  
Amanda flopped over onto her belly and stared down at Jasminka, one arm dropping lifelessly over the side of her bunk. “Oh come on, really? That’s your best suggestion? It’s so cliché!”  
  
“Just seems like you’re having trouble expressing yourself is all,” Jasminka replied, lowering her pencil and scooching around in her chair to face Amanda. “So it might be better to just give a nice gift and let that do the talking!”  
  
Amanda opened her mouth to speak, then shut it before screwing up her face in thought. It was a mad idea. Totally stupid and silly. But it might just work. “Yeah…yeah you know what? Sure why the hell not? I’ll skip class tomorrow, head to a candy shop, boom boom boom, Akko falls for me! It’ll be great and work out perfectly!”  
  
It was then that there was the pop of a marker cap and the quick, efficient sound of felt against plastic. All eyes were drawn to Constanze as she wrote in big bold strokes on her erase board. With grim, German efficiency she shifted on the bed, board back facing Jasminka and Amanda. Then she flipped the board around with the cruelest words Amanda had ever seen written on them.  
  
**WHAT IF SHE _DOESN’T_ LIKE GIRLS?**   
  
Amanda was transfixed by the words, by the statement, by the existential horror literally spelled out before her. The words echoed in her very soul, stretching onward into eternity. Her stomach clenched, skin going cold and sweat beading on her brow. Amanda’s well muscled frame began to shake as she mouthed wordless, soundless agony. Then she threw up on the carpet.  
  
___  
  
So, ducking Lukic’s class was probably going to bite her in the ass next time she did show up in class, but that was a price for Future Amanda to worry about. Present Amanda had shopping to do. Shopping which was not going well. Lost was she amongst an endless ocean of arrangements, specialty chocolates & treats with names that she could not begin to pronounce with any measure of confidence. She juggled between four boxes of assorted chocolates, all in packaging that ranged from tasteful to downright tacky.  
  
Amanda chewed on her lip, reading off what each one contained. Was Akko more of a sea-salt caramel kind of person or cream filling kind of person? What about nuts? Did she like nuts? Crap, what if she got her a box with a bunch of nut covered chocolates and she was allergic? What if she was allergic to chocolate and Amanda was handing her a box of delicious, delicious death?!  
  
“Shopping for yourself or for someone special?”  
  
Amanda jumped, dropping two of the boxes on the floor and spinning around, clutching the other two to her chest in mild panic. A woman, a scant few years older than Amanda probably, stood looking mildly bemused at her. The just slightly too large shirt she wore had the stores name emblazoned on the left breast pocket – _Genuine Belgian Confections_ in swirly letters. “Holy crap, you scared me! I mean uh, yeah I’m shopping for…for someone yeah.”  
  
The clerk visibly stifled a giggle. “Would you like some help? I’m something of an expert on picking out the right gifts.”  
  
Amanda huffed out a breath of air. “I dunno, I’m starting to think this whole thing was stupid to begin with. I should probably, I dunno, just leave.”  
  
The clerk held up her hands in a smoothing fashion, her smile seeming genuine enough to the flustered Amanda. “I can’t stop you if you want to leave, but I think you don’t really want to do that. Maybe you could tell me just a little about what the person you’re shopping for? Are they a friend or…someone a little more special?”  
  
“Yes? Kinda? Maybe? Not yet, I don’t know, fuck.” Amanda bemoaned, rolling her head and tapping her foot in agitation. “I’m not sure if she even likes me. I mean, I know she likes me but I don’t know if she likes me how I want her to like me. My friends said I should just suck it up and buy her something like this but I…crap, do I even really know her? I don’t even know what candy to get her.”  
  
She could feel years start to well up in the corners of her eyes. With a cough she made a show of covering her mouth and wiping at her eyes at the same time. “Sorry, allergies,” she muttered.  
  
The clerk was beside herself, tamping down her inner giddy school girl. This was the cutest god damn thing to happen in at least month and she was going to savor this. “You’re fine sweety. Well, on the topic of your gift, this is what you’re here to find out, right? If she likes you?”  
  
“Yeah, I guess.”  
  
“Great! Here,” she turned to a shelf beside her and let her fingers flick across a series of boxes before nabbing one off and offering it to Amanda. “It’s a simple arrangement, just six chocolates – the _perfect_ share size- nothing to complex but they’re super yummy and really pretty.”  
  
Amanda took the box and transfixed it with a steely glare. The chocolates were all shaped like stars and crescent moons, with little swirls of white chocolate or powdered sugar sprinkled on them. At least according to the box. What’s inside never really matches the box. Amanda took a deep breath, gripped the box tighter and nodded. “Yeah this’ll work. This’ll totally work. Uh, hey do you guys sell-”  
  
“Cards?” The clerk chirped. “Right over there on that spinner wrack right over by the register!”  
  
“Cool! Cool cool cool!” Amanda said as she walked over to the spinner rack in a daze. Most of the cards were flowery and gushy and just way to damn cheesy. Just glurgy junk that if anyone dared to hand it to her she’d probably die laughing.  
  
But…but she wasn’t getting it for herself. She was getting for Akko. So which one would Akko like? She took and a deep breath and went through the cards again, thinking back on Akko again. That adorable, no-indoor voice having, single minded weirdo. She was the kind of person who had, proudly at that, spent the day marching up and down the halls of Luna Nova showing off her awful, ridiculous transformations that looked like something yanked right out of a cartoon. And then came that little hammering in Amanda’s chest again. Fuck. Okay, now she knew what card to grab. She found the most adorable, cloyingly cheesy card, a cartoon mouse on the front saying “there’s something I want to tell you…” and the interior reading “You’re the best!”  
  
She slapped the box of chocolates and the card on the counter. The clerk was not even trying to hiding her great big, goofy smile as she rang up the sale. “Good luck sweetie!” She said with a wave as Amanda left.  
  
___  
  
  
The culinary fare at Luna Nova was not exactly stellar, ironically. Actually according to Professor Chariot it wasn’t that much better when she was in school. Vicious petitioning from the student body, the uptick in budget and donations to the school following the Noir Rod Incident, did lead to the selection at least expanding slightly. Slightly. At the minimum there were actual spices and seasoning in the food and the salads had more than just half of a tomato chopped up on top of them.  
  
Akko…savored would be an inaccurate term for her feelings regarding the matter. Akko devoured, rent with gnashing teeth and stuffed herself utterly silly as her friends, or at least Lotte, gazed in enraptured horror at the act of savagery unfolding before them.  
  
“Um, Akko, maybe you should slow do,” she said, raising a hand before lowering it, some primal part of her brain registering the risk of potentially losing a digit if brought too near The Devourer.  
  
“I’m impressed you haven’t choked yet,” Sucy added, watching as Akko packed down the last of her meal.  
  
“I just can’t get over how good the food is today,” Akko said, mouth still mostly full of chicken. “I think this is the best it’s been since I got here!”  
  
“Yeah, wonder why that is,” Sucy poked at her plate then picked up her roll and offered it to Akko. “I’m not a real big bread girl. You can have this if you’re still hungry.”  
  
Akko made a gleeful little noise and reached across the table to grab it and immediately starting wolfing it down. Lotte’s brow developed a just this side of imperceptible crease as she watched the trade off. The food wasn’t THAT much better today but Akko was acting like it was the stuff of the gods. Every so often in the past she’d catch Sucy dripping a potion into Akko’s food or casting a spell when the poor girl wasn’t looking to change the taste to something foul. But Lotte had neither seen neither a spellcasting nor any suspicious fluids being added behind Akko’s back.  
  
Maybe Sucy’s frequent tampering with her food had altered Akko’s taste buds in some way? Or was the simple lack of poison elevated it Akko’s mind past thoroughly mediocre school lunch fare? Further, why the sudden change in Sucy? Refraining from picking on Akko AND giving her food? Lotte’s eyes got a little bigger as the wheels in her head had turned. What if this was a real turning point for Sucy? Lotte had seen the shy, quick little glances Sucy would give Akko, and she was positive she’d seen her blush whenever she’d look at Akko’s legs. And from Akko had said about the first time they met, Sucy had come out of the gate picking on her! Then there was the whole Cockatrice thing but Lotte didn’t like thinking about that.  
  
Point being, that if Night Fall had taught her anything, crushes walk hand in hand with pranks and teasing! What if Sucy had come to terms with her own roiling emotions for Akko and was mustering up the courage to confess?! Was she witnessing the first moments of her two friends coming together in a whirlwind school days romance that would rock Luna Nova to its foundations?! Oh no, they’re part of the same coven! They share a room! Would…would they do _things_ when they thought Lotte was sleeping? Or would they even, dare she even think of it, want her to join?! But Lotte didn’t even like girls! She was pretty sure at least but I mean she was open to new experiences!  
  
“Uh, hey, Lotte? You okay Lotte?” Akko’s voice cut like a knife through her raging thoughts and Lotte was snapped back to reality. Her face was on fire, hand trembling as it attempted to guide a very empty spoon up from her soup bowl…her long empty soup bowl.  
  
Lotte’s hands hit the table as she blurted “I’M FINE THANKS FOR ASKING!” loud enough that half of Luna Nova probably heard it.  
  
Akko and Sucy just stared, eyes wide. They traded a look then Akko said “It’s just that you were turning red and breathing really hard but you just kept staring straight ahead. It made us worry!”  
  
“Made her worry,” Sucy said, that disconcerting smile spreading across her face. “I’ve seen that face when you’re ‘reading’.”  
  
Lotte’s face started heating up again and she felt the sudden overpowering urge to vanish in a puff of smoke, never to be seen again. “Shut up! I don’t know what you’re talking about!”  
  
“Yeah Sucy,” Akko said, leaning towards the purple haired potion master. “I’ve seen her read lots but she’s never gone all weird like that.”  
  
“Can we please change the subject,” Lotte pled, holding her head in her hands. Maybe she could request a transfer to a new coven? Or maybe go through Sucy’s notes, she had to have some sorta of memory erasing potion she could brew and just totally eradicate this day from her memory?  
  
It was at that moment sweet release came for Lotte when Amanda O’Neill slid up to their table, and propped herself up beside Akko. Okay, that’s not accurate. What actually happened was that the sound of tennis shoes slapping against the polished cafeteria floors alerted them seconds before the whole table rattled with the impact of Amanda banging her hip against it, spewing a few choice expletives while she regained her balance and THEN propped herself up beside Akko, one hand held behind her back. Her eyes were wide and her face was so tense it looked like Amanda might be trying to push her skull out of her skin.  
  
Sucy took immediate interest, pushing her tray away enough to let her lean in to get a slightly better look at the proceedings. She craned her head just enough to see behind Amanda’s back and the corners of her mouth twitched. “Oh this is going to be amazing,” she muttered.  
  
Akko looked up at the taller girl with a measure of concern. She smiled back and said “Heeey Amanda, is everything okay?”  
  
“Yeah! Yeah! Super great!” Amanda’s voice was in an obvious fist fight with the throbbing pain in her hip and the aforementioned pain had just pulled a knife. “I was just thinking – crap, fuck – I’ve been meaning to ah, ask, ah, tell…you something.”  
  
“Well, what is it? And are you sure you’re okay, you hit the table pretty hard,” Akko said, then did something Amanda really was not expecting.  
  
With one delicate hand, no delicate wasn’t the word, with one deceptively powerful hand Akko gently, innocently even, touched Amanda’s hip. Amanda felt her great big lesbian heart stop in that moment and her windpipe constrict. There came the damn butterflies in her gut; that horrid twisty sensation which murdered every sensible decision making process Amanda had rattling around in her head. Nope, nope, nope she wasn’t backing off. She wasn’t screwing it up this time.  
  
Slowly, mechanically, Amanda straightened herself up and took Akko’s wrist in her free hand. Her skin was soft and warm and smoother than Amanda’s but she could still feel well defined muscles just beneath. For someone so scrawny looking, Akko was built solid. Carefully, like she was handling the most fragile thing in the world and with a tremor running through her arm, she slid her hand up Akko’s wrist and wrapped her hand in her own. Amanda forced herself to take several slow deep breaths before locking eyes with Akko. She could feel her neck and ears burning and wondered if she’d be able to hear herself over the sound of the snare drum in her chest.  
  
Akko looked from their intertwined hands to Amanda’s face and back again. Her face was an inscrutable tangle of emotions, a mirror to the whirlwind in her brain trying it’s damndest to sort out what in the world was happening and why she was utterly over the moon about it.  
  
Amanda gave one last, slow exhale. “I’m not good with the mushy crap, okay? I-I think you’re-” something caught in Amanda’s throat. Her temper flared and she snarled and whipped out the box of chocolates and aggressively saccharine card, almost clipping her crushes nose in the process.  
  
“ **I GOT THESE FOR YOU, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO OUT SOMETIME?!”**  
  
A pall fell over the cafeteria. Cold, deathly thing as every voice was suddenly silenced and not a scrap of utensil nor slurp of drink could be heard. Every eye turned, laser like, onto Amanda and Akko.  
  
_So this is it,_ Amanda thought, feeling the legion gaze down upon her, Akko looking baffled and adorable in a way that wasn’t fair at all. _This is how I die. Just collapse into an inescapable vortex of embarrassment and rejection while you can O’Neill, you ain’t recovering from this one, you shoulda know she wouldn’t be inter-  
  
_ “Of course!” Akko bounced in her seat. _  
  
_“W-wut.”  
  
“Of course I’d love to go on a date with you! You’re one of the best people I know, Amanda!”  
  
The grand wheel of time slowed to a halt as the choirs of heaven sang in a single, glorious harmony this day for Amanda O’Neill. The impossible was possible, there was no mountain to high nor valley too deep for her to cross!  
  
A nervous, disbelieving laughing gurgled up from Amanda’s gut while a sloppy smile spread across her face. “Cool. Awesome. That’s awesome.”  
  
Then Amanda O’Neill rushed the nearest trash bin and threw up.  
  
  



End file.
